Christmas Peeve 1: I don't like my mother's friends

(Read this first, for some background.)

Peeve 1: I don't like my mother's friends.
I don't like some of my mother's friends. Don't get me wrong; they're nice, warm-hearted people with good intentions (maybe). But I just can't stand talking to them. They're patronizing. They think of me as a bookworm and a computer geek (which I am, but look, I enjoy so many other things too! And yes, I do get wild and wet and down and dirty too -- just not with middle-aged women like them). Some think I'm cocky for not choosing "nurse" for a profession (they have sadly internalized the stereotypes of Filipinas as nannies, mail-order brides and nurses, with the latter obviously deemed the most decent). They give me lectures and warn me stupid because I'm dating a white guy (who, btw, I never brought to those parties. I don't want him to feel bored or singled out). And it irks them that I trashed this local beauty pageant years ago.

(This is what happened: Some years back, some folks asked me to join Miss *Bleep* [name of pageant withheld]. It's a local pageant for Filipino girls in BC. Judging from the yearly pool of candidates, physical beauty is not necessarily a criterion for joining or winning (which partly explains why a 5-foot-3 pimple-faced nerdy pretty gal like me could qualify). They're desperate for candidates willing to pay an exorbitant fee to get 15 minutes of spotlight in a sleazefest, that's all. If you win the crown, you have to be willing to be a spokesperson for anything from nanny service centres to Filipino-owned funeral parlours (I'm not kidding). You get to appear on cheeeesy, cheaply produced commercials on The Multicultural Channel. Anyway, I refused to join and said something really nasty about the pageant. I did not hide the fact that I was disgusted with their representation of young Filipinas. Since then, I've been labelled an over-educated, sisterfucking arrogant bitch. I'm flattered.)

Other reasons why I'm not too fond of *some* of my mom's friends:

• They chastise me for not marrying or having six babies already.
• They insist that I join their religious group and save my soul.
• They try to make me feel guilty for being too outspoken/opinionated for their comfort.
• They talk behind my mother's back.
• They berate me because they think I'm ashamed of my Filipino roots (totally not true! I'll discuss this in a separate blog post).
• They spread gossip that I have an eating disorder just because I refuse to eat greasy, fatty foods (this accusation is just so low, I want to stick roasted pig ears up their nostrils).
• Some want me to go out on a date with their shy, dorky, sexually frustrated sons (YUCK!!!).
  
• And many more.
  

On to Peeve 2.