An Ex-Rated Incident

Have you ever bumped into your ex years after you broke up?

Last week I did. Boy, did it ever catch me off-guard.

It was very silly, the incident. He and I both acted dorkily, I thought.

Let me tell you about "the stare-off." When our eyes locked and a flash of sudden recognition lit up both our faces, neither could say anything. We were tongue-tied. We both had a brain freeze. It was awkward. But we were both looking at each other, quite shocked but apparently pleased. We were both caught off-guard, I think, and were both too dumbstruck to keep our poise.

One would think that after the teenage rites of passage, a young woman would have finally learned the treacherous distinction between love and lust. Wrong!

We stared into each others' eyes for like 6 seconds (maybe longer). No one blinked. And both our mouths were open. And you know what's worse/better about the stare-off? We both had this stupid misty look in our eyes--you know, the kind of soft, stoned, glistening puppy eyes you give/get when you're staring at your crush. It was stupid. We stood there stupid in the cold winter; we might as well have just happened to be frozen cold in that pose, like two molded pieces of museum wax.

Never mind what happened next, after the tell-tale stare-off. Suffice it to say we had what could pass as a fairly interesting conversation.


More than a week has passed since "that event" and I still can't quite process it. I'm still confused. VERY confused. Why did I get that sudden rush of tingling warmth on my face, but couldn't feel the rest of my body? And why did I have that stupid grin on my lips for like 5 days after? (I couldn't control the damned grin. Even my girlfriends noticed; one was betting I had sex the night before [even though she knew damned well my boyfriend was away? Was she trying to get me in trouble or what?]. "I can tell, Marie! You have that rare transcendent look on your face." Bitch. Accusation was so not true, by the way. I'm not that kind.)

So, this Mr. Ex. Am I... er, falling in love with him all over again? Nah. Don't be stupid. Maybe I'm just infatuated. I mean hey, I may be teenager no more, but I'm still a young 20-something creature with actively pumping hormones, right? And my boyfriend--maybe I'm just missing him. Terribly. (He lives/works/studies in another city quite far from Vancouver.)

You see, one would think that after the teenage rites of passage, a young woman would have finally learned the treacherous distinction between love and lust. Wrong!

And oh, I forgot to tell you one more thing about Mr. Ex. Our lines of communication are open again. I was foolish enough to give him my email and cellphone number. I don't know, my intuition is telling me that was a bad decision on my part. Baaaaad decision.

Why did I ever break up with him again? I don't remember.

Please lead us not into temptation,
And deliver us from evil.
Amen.
...