Women + Career = Unhappy Marriage?
Here is an interesting Forbes article about career women and marriage.
The man says:
Guys: A word of advice. Whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career. Why? Because you run a higher risk of having a rocky marriage.
If a host of studies are to be believed, marrying these women is asking for trouble. If they quit their jobs and stay home with the kids, they will be unhappy. They will be unhappy if they make more money than you do. You will be unhappy if they make more money than you do. You will be more likely to fall ill. Even your house will be dirtier.
There's more: According to a wide-ranging review of the published literature, highly educated people are more likely to have had extra-marital sex. Additionally, individuals who earn more than $30,000 a year are more likely to cheat.
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And here's the COUNTERPOINT:
The woman says:
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Modern marriage is a two-way street. Men should own up to their responsibilities, too.
The experts cited in his story think that professional women are more likely to get divorced, to cheat and to be grumpy about either having kids or not having them. But rather than rush to blame the woman, let's not overlook the other key variable: What is the guy doing?
Take, for instance, the claim that professional women are more likely to get divorced, because they're more likely to meet someone in the workforce who will be "more attractive" than that old squashed-couch hubby at home.
Women have faced this kind of competition squarely for years. Say you marry your college heartthrob. Ten years later, he's working with some good-looking gals--nymphets just out of college. What do you do? A: Stay home, whine and eat chocolate. B: Take up rock climbing, read interesting books and continue to develop that interesting personality he fell in love with in the first place.
Note to guys: Start by going to the gym. Then try some new music. Or a book. Or a movie. Keep connected to the rest of the world. You'll win--and so will your marriage.
Money is a problem? Honestly, the times money has been the biggest problem have been when we were short of it -- not when one of us is earning more than the other.
The essence of a good marriage, it seems to me, is that both people have to learn to change and keep on adapting.
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According to Marie Fe:
No, I'm not giving up my career and the independence and enjoyment it gives me. You want an obedient superwife you can fuck and will clean up your shit for you (nothing more, nothing less), go ahead and find one.
(And just so you know, I'm not some money-hungry dominatrix on overdrive who's out to scratch and bite my man. I do listen and am willing to give and adapt to make things work. I do want strong, healthy relationships with people I love -- but not at the full expense of the other things I value and that make me feel whole and well-rounded. I'll have more to say on this later.)
1 comment:
There are many woman who are successful in both their careers and marriage. Rather than quantity of time spend with family it is quality that matters.Marriage is a Partnership and many times one has to compromise and adjust to the situation to make it work smoothly. If the job is a hindrance one should set up their priorities and work out alternatives by discussing with partner.
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